The Lowest Citizens

Now before I start ripping alcoholics, let me just say that I am completely aware of its classification as a chronic disease; I understand that those who suffer from it are generally helpless addicts who have used it to suppress catastrophic psychological and emotional pain, and that those who surround them (friends and family) tragically suffer the consequences as well. Having said that, I can now press on with my post. I categorically despise them. My natural father was an alcoholic (still is I suppose, if he is still alive). What did he contribute to my life? Absolutely nothing. Alcoholics focus on their own pain, and are blithely unaware of the pain and suffering that they cause their loved ones. My mother finally left him while I was still an infant, and throughout the years he conveniently forgot that he had two children who loved him very much. I tried to establish some kind of father-son relationship since I was a child, and had nothing but his broken promises to sustain me. I believe the last time I spoke to him was in 1999; previously, I hadn't heard from him since '88. His replacement in my youth? Another alcoholic. My stepfather was a mean-spirited, angry coward. He was well regarded in the outside world as a hard worker, and had a small circle of friends. But at home, he was a sullen, angry drunk who terrorized his wife and stepchildren. He loomed large in my child's eyes; a raging giant who shook what seemed to be a basketball-sized fist in my face as he threatened to kill me. He was free with his fists when it came to women and small children, but I don't think he ever picked a fight with a man.

It should be obvious by now that early on I had an established bias against the dipsomaniacs of this world, so it shouldn't surprise anyone that I feel the way I do. I cannot tolerate them, and I am largely unsympathetic to their plight. My sister-in-law's husband is one of those obnoxious drunks that completely lose their senses and become a danger to themselves. You know the type; loud and overbearing, losing any inhibitions or sense of propriety, blindly stumbling into dangerous situations like an unsupervised retarded toddler. Now, I am not a teetotaler by any means. I like to get pleasantly drunk when I am with friends or family or at a party. But when this guy is around, I become stone cold sober because I have to be prepared for any eventuality. Like disarm him if he decides he wants to fire a few rounds in the air or into a tree, or put him out when he accidentally ignites himself (I really had to do that...I had to tackle him and roll him around the ground until the flames were extinguished). That is not fun. He kills any party because he is an uncontrollable idiot. If I could find the T-shirt with the legend "Instant Asshole: Just Add Alcohol", I would buy it for him. So now I find myself avoiding going to my sister-in-law's house (she lives less than ten blocks away) because I don't have the energy nor the will to babysit the drunk asshole. I don't feel sympathetic to my sister-in-law either. She has consciously made the decision to stay married to this moron; any pain or heartache suffered thence is hers and hers alone to bear. I just feel sorry for the children involved (who find him just as insufferable as I do).

School

Well, I have started school. I am going to a small private university...it's really not much better than a community college. But at least the classes are smaller, and the instructors can devote more time to the students. I started Thursday with a Psychology class. It's okay, but I can tell that I will learn more by reading the textbook than by any knowledge imparted to me by the instructor. If I were a teen fresh out of high school, and of average intelligence, I might not be so critical. However, because I am an adult of above-average intelligence, I find the class and instructor less than captivating. But I am consoled by the knowledge that the ultimate result (a degree) will mitigate any disappointment in the classes or instructors. I shouldn't complain, because the less challenging the class, the easier it will be for me to maintain a 4.0 average (that is my goal).

An aside: Maria and I will be in two classes together! Now our relationship shall be put to another test!! It should be fun.

So, wish me luck in my endeavours...I hope that I will be able to go to school full-time should I find employment. I will try my hardest.

Some changes...driven by Net Neo-Nazi's

After some thought, I decided that I would make this blog more anonymous, since I am currently unemployed and it is becoming increasingly common for prospective employers to search the net for any blogs or MySpace entries for insight into the candidates mind. Therefore, I changed the posting and the URL to reflect my Hispanic origin, yet "gringo" lifestyle. So I had to change a few things, most notably the URL to the photo on my profile page, which earlier pointed to my personal website. But if someone really wanted to, it wouldn't be too difficult to connect the dots...

I am kind of ambivalent about the thought of employers checking out their employees on the net. I guess there are situations where a company is protecting it's best interests (e.g. offering insights into closely guarded projects or the like), but I am not too sure if I agree with prospective employers taking the initiative and checking out their applicants. What could be revealed that a prospective employer cannot already figure out during the application and interview process? Most are background-checked, credit-checked (another sore point with me), tested for drugs, and interviewed. What does a MySpace entry have to do with the ability to do the job? (Sigh!) I am an adult, and realize that it really doesn't matter. If an employer has personal predjudices or an axe to grind, and has the opportunity to prevent a homosexual or a Jew or a Young Republican from joining the ranks by investigating their profiles on social network sites, (s)he is going to do it. And although I have Googled myself and have come up with nothing except a guestbook entry I left in a Colombian singer's site, I am not going to take a chance.

And you know what? I was thinking that maintaining a blog on "Blogger" is probably "so yesterday", but I just cannot bring myself to creating a MySpace account. It seems (IMHO) to be mostly populated by pre-teens and adults whose mental faculties are about that of a pre-teen. Also, I can't write in the terribly stupid lingo where you DRoP dA VoWLz n spL LiKe SHiT N U sez NiGGaZ n HOeS LoTZ N LoTZ. It isn't as creative or "cool" as l337... it's just ignorant.

Damn, forty is just around the corner. How the hell did that happen?

That OTHER football

Congratulations to Italy for winning the World Cup. I actually watched the game, and I do have to admit that soccer is pretty neat to watch. What surprised me was how fast the game moves along. They play 90 minutes in...90 MINUTES! I am so used to American football with all its clock stoppages and time-outs and commercial breaks. But it does allow you to at least take a bathroom break without missing too much. I was also impressed with each team being allowed only three substitutions, and if a player gets injured after they have used up their allowable subs...tough titty. They play a man short. That's pretty awesome.

Anyway, I will be watching more soccer (soccer dammit, not football or futbol) in the future. Variety is the spice of life...except I will not watch golf.

Good read...

Just finished a book, "The Wars of the Roses" by Alison Weir. I never really comprehended the history of the British monarchy; and as such, this book only covers the period between 1390's and 1471, the years of the battle for the crown between the house of Lancaster and the house of York. But it was a very enlightening and entertaining book, and satisfied my curiousity and thirst for knowledge. I found myself rooting for Edward IV in his efforts to depose Henry VI and his bitch of a wife Margaret of Anjou, only to find myself later on hurrah-ing the efforts of the Earl of Warwick to depose Edward and restore Henry VI back to the throne. It was comforting to know that, despite what many say to the contrary, things (especially human nature) haven't changed a whit in the six centuries since the Wars of the Roses. The political intrigue, the changing alliances, the acts of depravity as well as acts of heroism, the propaganda, the lust for power...all the trappings of 21st century politics are reflected in the struggle for control of the English throne in the 14th century. After finishing the book, I wanted more. Now it's up to me to find a book on the Tudors, so that I could find out what happened next!